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Alchemizing Pain and Victimization into Power and Self Love





During channeling a couple of days ago, my guides continued to speak about the Void without emptiness, the state of consciousness where there is no lack and all feels whole. I understood experientially what they were talking about, but I could not help to wonder about the opposite of what they described: the stuff that was not “pure,” the unloving narratives that sometimes still play in my head. What about the unwanted energies that I may still be carrying from my ancestral lineage?  I access the vastness and the cosmos within, but this other stuff is still part of me. 


At this point, an image came to mind. It looked like a chalice containing an overflowing substance. Then, it became clear that this substance was blood. So, my guides said:


 “It is important to remember that source energy shows up in different forms in the physical and the nonphysical realms. You are seeing a jar. A chalice with overflowing blood. This appears gross, uncomfortable, and almost disgusting to you. You are associating this blood with something bad, something wrong. Well, blood in this image represents a form that source energy took for the sake of your experience in this lifetime, for the sake of your soul’s expansion. Consider that the chalice represents your heart space which is filled with Source energy. The blood is part of Source energy. When you arrive at your sacred heart and when you expand further your heart energy, you can experience the void, the sacred state of consciousness, the cosmos within. Here in this state, there are no boundaries, no lack, and no separation. Now, you can see the overflowing blood that you perceive as gross, bad, or wrong as a particular form of Source energy. And when you acknowledge that the blood although looks disgusting, is also Divine as it is part of Source (the chalice) then you can see this blood in a completely different way.” 


As my guides were saying this, the blood inside the chalice became a beautiful flow of nourishment and vitality. I then imagined the blood moving through my veins and arteries. I could sense what felt like a pulse, a heartbeat, a powerful force of vitality moving through my body. It made me think about being alive and about beating consciousness. It felt precious. Then, the blood transformed into hundreds of gorgeous red flowers. As the flowers came out of the chalice, I could still sense their pulsating energy. It felt good. It felt powerful. It also felt loving. 


What a journey! This is one of my favorite things about channeling. The experience is always filled with beautiful visualizations that carry meaning and that leaves me with a deep feeling of wholeness. It makes me feel complete. I then went about my day as usual and it was not until the evening that it all came together for me. I had had my period for 15 days straight. I considered making an appointment to check on this, but my intuition guided me to wait a few more days. The night before the channeling session that I described above, I felt anger and resentment about the length of my period. When I did my night meditation, I was reminded about the purpose of my long period. It was a necessary clearing. This made sense to me, but I was still annoyed. I went to bed feeling a little better but wishing to have more clarity around this. 


Then, after the journey with my guides, it all made sense. I remembered the history of issues that women in my family have had with their reproductive organs. I also thought about their experiences of victimization and how much women in my family have carried pain in that area of their bodies for generations. Then, it became clearer to me that I was undergoing significant shedding and cleansing of my stagnated unhealed energies, but also those of my mother and her mother. I was alchemizing pain and victimization into power and self-love.


The image of the “gross blood” transformed into “pulsating red roses” represented this alchemy. It was helpful to be reminded that when I release and alchemize I can mindfully acknowledge and honor my mother’s pain and her mother’s pain as well as their beauty, strengths, and fire within. Although it was not my responsibility to carry this pain for them, I now take accountability for the unconscious decision to carry it as a way to help them. I can also use my sovereignty to make a conscious decision to heal it. That evening, I set the intention to honor these women’s journeys of healing again and to expand my perspective about my period and its clearing, and healing purpose. 




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Very interesting visualization! I love the way you are able to connect what is happening in your body to the pain of ancestors and how your mind shows you the beauty in that process. Really beautiful.

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I enjoyed this one too. I didn’t expect those images, but somehow it always make sense. Thank you Christine for reading and sharing your reaction!

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